Grumpy Young Men

Not only is the summer almost over, but the summer of our youth is almost over too. The counting-wrinkles time approaches rapidly and soon enough we have to worry about our pensions. I speak for a minority born in a decade when Michael Jackson, Ace of Bass and Phil Collins blared through the radio speaker. And that didn't help, did it. All generations have their own troublemakers: the 60's had the hippies, 70's had punk rockers and we have EMO's? That's it? We are left with self-pitying herds of people with black dyed hair, claiming that they are more sensitive than other people and that they are revolting against mainstream. Being EMO is mainstream. And grumpy young men don't like mainstream.

All generations have their own troublemakers: the 60's had the hippies, 70's had
punk rockers and we have EMO's?

A grumpy young man has never understood the concept of the iPod. It is a music player, just like every other music player on the market but the Apple sect screams: "No, it is more than a music player, it's an iPod, a revolution." The grumpy young man shrugs and feels a little left alone as he watches a group of EMO's ask the Apple-store salesman if it comes in black.
Longing for a time long before he was born, the grumpy young man cannot understand what hip hop is all about. This Rhythm and Blues deviation should by all logic be dead, but instead bottled up sexual rage and other aggressive feelings are formed into words that are blurted out to the rhythm of a synthesized drum. More irritated than fascinated the grumpy young man turns on Pink Floyd's The Dark Side of the Moon and wishes he was sometime else.
If someone from the BBC reads it: I'm sorry for copyright infringement, if any. If the person from BBC liked it, mail me: ruben.la.clae+grumpy@gmail.com.

…Or Maybe Not

I still don't like Excel (read this for more info). But apparently I did something wrong when plotting my graph. When entering the 'chart wizard' you should choose 'XY (Scatter)' and not 'Line' (even if you want a line through your points, don't pick the 'Line' option!!). In the wizard you can then choose to draw a line through the points and the graph turns out to be alright. So when would you want to use the 'Line' option? Seriously: I don't know. I cannot find any use for this (unless you try to skew the graph to your advantage, much appreciated by business people, I suspect) so don't pick it. Never. Or use Graph 4.3, Which is a really competent little program and it's free!

The Death of Science

What really got me started was an article I read in Time a couple of weeks ago: Mystical Mischief in New York by Aravind Adiga, an Indian. In the article Aravind describes how the popularity of palmists and other psychics have increased. What was "crazy thinking" several years ago is now, somehow acceptable. As a joke, Aravind writes that one day soon the western children will wear turbans and serve the rational eastern children in Mumbai. I know it is a joke, but actually I see some disturbing misuses of science in our western society.

But it is to Excel I owe my dramatic heading. I am desperately trying to figure out what is wrong with my hard disk drive (I've sure written a lot about it on this blog). In order to see things clearer I decided to collect data from the hard disk drive and analyze it. With over 400 different data I try to make sense of it by plotting it in graphs. Since I stored all my data in Excel plotting the graphs would not seem to be a problem. I now have four different graphs, and they were easy to plot. But most important of all: they look good. And that was the problem. The points were evenly spaced although I recorded the data at completely irregular times.



Slightly surprised I ploted the data in Graph 4.3 instead, and the graph looked very different, but this time it was at least correct. How (in the name the god, that doesn't exist?) can Excel, which is used by millions of users, plot a graph that is incorrect? Maybe there is a hidden function which solves the spacing problem, but shouldn't Excel show the proper spacing by default? My trust in Microsoft is officially non-existent. Whenever I got the time, I'll switch to Linux. Bite me Microsoft!


And oh! I think I know why the Koreans at Samsung did not respond to my "scientific" investigation of their hard disk drive. I was stupid enough to include a copy of my good looking, but incorrect, graph… plotted in Excel.

Best of Summer 2008: Introducing Benelux

Ever wondered if there's just one type of Belgian Waffle? Or wondered where all the water goes when it's raining in Antwerp? If Maatjes Herring really tastes as awful as it does when bought from Swedish supermarkets? Or if all you can buy in a flower shop in Amsterdam is tulips and Cannabis starter kits? Let's find out!

For those of you who don't know, I'm half Belgian (the part craving french fries in mayonnaise, chocolate, beer and other high-calorie stuff). The following text will, of course, be based on my small whereabouts in north-western Belgium and my views will be as subjective as ever. Let's talk food first.

The answer to the first question is No. There are (to my knowledge) two types of waffles. The ones you buy from Belgaufra are from Liège, which is the south-eastern, and French-speaking, part of Belgium. The Liège waffles are good, but of course not as good as the Brussels waffles which are crispier and less sweet. As you might remember from geography lessons, Brussels is in the north-western part of Belgium. You can eat both types of waffles in all good cafés (that I've been to) so try them out on your next (/first) visit to Belgium!

Obviously you need some exercise after eating all those waffles. You could go to any gym if you lack imagination or you could do something entirely different: a walk in the Ruien (read: sewers). Actually I don't recommend going there just after you've eaten, since there's a quite bad smell (you get used to it though). And if you have phobia for rats and/or spiders you should definitely avoid it. If you wonder why they don't just kill off all the rats the answer is simple; fat clogging the rui/sewage system (which was built by Napoleon by the way). The rats eat fat and there's no clogging, voila! The number of rats is of course controlled by poison. The tour takes about three hours, of which one hour is below ground. Afterwards you can go right across the street where you can buy Indiana Jones stuff. For more info, click: http://www.ruihuis.be/

No! Real Maatjes Herring is available from May to July in both Belgium and the Netherlands. It tastes so good I could eat it for the rest of my life. But if you don't like fish you're not going to like this either.

I don't have anything against Amsterdam, but please don't get me started on their coffee shops and their legalized-prostitution-bit. After passing coffee shops with names such as Perfect Paradise and Perfect Extase you start to wonder how they can manage everyday tasks when they are stoned. I always get a bit uncomfortable when high business men start to stuff their pipe with cannabis or when it says Peep Show with big, bright, pink letters and there's a half-naked woman on a giant poster hanging outside. And yes, all you could buy in the flower shop we passed was tulips and Cannabis starter kits – and bonsai trees. And on the other side of the street there was a Christmas shop counting down the days until the next Christmas. Only the bloody Dutch…

Pictures from the top:

Antwerpen "Onze Lieve Vrouwekathedraal" and "Handwerpen" (51°13'17.21 N, 4°23'58.43 E)

Antwerpen "La Place" in the "Stadsfeestzaal" (51°13'03.65" N, 4°24'42.19 E)

Amsterdam "Nemo Metropolis Cinema, VOC Ship" (52°22'21.09 N, 4°54'49.00 E)